Our immediate family will meet at my center in Alvarado. My center is the most spacious for the family gatherings, which now numbers only eighteen. Ages run from 93 to 2 years of age.
After we share a traditional Thanksgiving dinner I’ll announce that it is PORCH TIME and we will all gather around the comfortable living area to share our most memorable “Warm Heart” experience since we last met. I will have my twelve year old great-granddaughter read the story PORCH TIME WITH AUNT MAUDE and then I’ll ask each family member, “And what have you done this past year that made you feel warm inside?” Even the next to youngest, Hayden age 4, will be included to share his story.
Where did I get the idea for this ritual that we will be sharing? That’s what I’m going to share with you now.
It was shortly after my husband died in 2002 that I was searching for a project to keep me busy. I decided to do a community service. Our local library was in need of a new building, books and miscellaneous projects that would come up during the process of its completion. I invited all the local writers to come meet at my center and we would share and write our memorable experiences. I would publish the book of their stories, after we as a group would edit and critique each other’s work. It took a year. We titled the book, I Remember. The book had 42 stories. The writers sold the books and the library was given all the proceeds of the sales. Yesterday I ran across the book. I picked it up to reread some of the stories. That’s when I got the idea to make this Thanksgiving Day a time for all to share their “Warm Heart” story. The following story was written by Louise Forsythe; an African American that is secretary at one of the local churches. It is one of my favorites.
What made Aunt Maude so memorable and endearing? It was the patient and understanding way she had with everyone she met. Every summer my parents, older sister, brother and I spent a week’s vacation with her. We also went to visit her on many weekends when my dad didn’t have to work.
My memories of Aunt Maude began when I was a small child. She lived by herself in a small farming community on the outskirts of town. She wasn’t lonely because she knew everyone in the surrounding area. Her place was a haven for people who needed advice and encouragement. Her role was that of a counselor and psychologist without a degree. When someone drove up in her yard and mother asked who it was, she replied. “They just need a little porch time.” She was the first one there when people were sick and needed care. She also made the best peach cobbler I’ve ever eaten. “I make it with love,” she explained when I asked her for the recipe after I grew up and began cooking for my family.
My first ‘porch time’ I had with Aunt Maude was when I was five years old. My mother, brother, sister and I were spending a weeklong summer vacation with her. I was a restless youngster and always wanted to know the why of everything, which she understood. My brother and sister were allowed to go down to the creek behind her house to catch crawfish, but I had to stay behind. “When you are older you can go, but today it’s too dangerous and after this rain you might slip into the muddy water,’’ my mother explained. “I’ll let you help me make gumbo if they catch a lot,” she said, trying to appease me. I felt excluded and was still pouting. Aunt Maude turned to mama and said, “This young one needs some porch time.”
Vaguely, I knew what that meant, but hadn’t yet experienced it for myself. I was apprehensive but felt honored, too.
Taking my hand she led me out on the porch where her rocking chair was. She lifted me on her lap and began telling me how fortunate I was. ‘I’m going to tell you my secret, how you can find the warm place in your heart,” she began.
“You are only able to feel the warm place in your heart when you are good and listen to your mama because she only wants what is best for you. One day you will understand. Your heart only gets warm when you do things with love and sincerity. If you say or do anything because you have to or are lazy, then you won’t feel the warmth, you will feel cranky and unhappy.” She patiently explained.
“You have a warm heart auntie. I know, cause I feel it.” I said as I looked up into her eyes and nestled closer to her bosom. She continued to tell me stories about what people should do to get a warm heart.
Over the years when I needed guidance I would return to have porch time with her. My visits became further and further apart as I became busy raising my family. But I knew she was still there helping and encouraging others.
When I received the call that she was dying I went to see her for the last time. It was a three-hour drive to get there. All the while, I kept hoping she was still alert so I could tell her again how much I had learned from her over the years.
She was in the bedroom surrounded by the many friends she had helped. Her white hair was neatly combed; her eyes were closed when I entered the room. I took a seat beside her bed and softly whispered, “Aunt Maude it’s Louise.” I could see her frail body stir for a moment. As I watched her breathe softly, I wondered if she knew that I was there.
“I need to thank you again for teaching me how to experience a “warm heart,” I said, trying to hold back the tears. Her shoulder began twitching as I gently took her hand. I felt her fingers move and somehow I knew we made contact. At that moment all the stories, advice and encouragement she gave me surfaced. I was experiencing a rerun of our porch times.
Aunt Maude dies at the age of 102 leaving a legacy for all that knew her, her shared secret of how to live life with a warm heart.
Wishing you a warm heart
Helene Hadsell
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